It’s Not About the Cake… Or Is It? 🍰

Jan 16

Let’s be real: it’s mid-January, and those New Year’s resolutions you made with gusto a few days ago are looking shakier than a Jenga tower in a windstorm now. And it’s not just you. Most people have already ghosted their goals by now. In fact, studies show that fewer than 10% of us are still “new year, new me”-ing by spring. So if you’re in the 90% Club, welcome (or welcome back)! 🎉 There are lots of us, and most are long-time members.

But why? Why do we start with such grand plans and end up trading meal-prep for midnight cake raids? How did I get here? Why did I cave so quickly? You can stop beating yourself up. There’s a path back to meeting your goals, and you don’t have to walk it alone. Let’s break it down.

To Step Away from the Cake…You’ve Got to Get Out of the Soup

Picture this. You’ve made a grand New Year’s resolution. “I WILL NOT EAT CAKE FOR 30 DAYS!” Two hours later, life happens: the sh*t hits the fan at work , and you’re face-deep in frosting. Sound familiar?

You’re not craving the cake because you’re a failure, or because you have no willpower. You’re reaching for comfort after being dropped in the soup…not the comforting kind your grandma made..this one is cooked up with cortisol: Soup du Stress!

Ah, cortisol— the drama queen of hormones. When present in high levels, she’s flipping tables and throwing shade at your insulin, estrogen, and progesterone. Your bodymind is the backdrop for her angsty little reality show. And when she throws your hormone hierarchy out of whack, you don’t feel sexy, confident, or even mildly human. Your bow-chicka-bow-wow takes a vacation, and your oxytocin (a.k.a. the “let’s cuddle and conquer the world” hormone) is left crying in a corner.

It’s that low oxytocin that makes us feel sad, tired, and touch-starved. Our hormones, and how our mind and body respond to their fluctuation, are key reasons we reach for those comfort “fixes” like sweets, wine, Amazon Prime, over-exercising, or hibernation.

But those “quick fixes” aren’t “fixes” at all: they’re distractions with side effects. When they’re our only “solution”, we’re stuck in a cycle of fatigue, overwhelm, and brain fog. Lasting change can only happen when we understand how our hormones, bodies, minds, and relationships are connected. To get out of the soup, we have to get into the circles.

The Four Circles of Goal Slaying (Or Sabotage)

You’ve got 4 circles working overtime to shape your life, your body, your relationships, and how you respond to the world around you. If you’re struggling to stick to your goals, one or more of these circles is out here throwing off your groove.

Let’s meet the players:

Biological Circle: The Diva Behind the Curtain: The Beyoncé of the group, this circle runs the show whether you realize it or not. It includes everything from your sleep and hydration to exercise, hormones, as well as your nutrient, toxin, and allergen levels.

Hormones, in particular, are the real divas here. Your Satiety Squad (leptin, ghrelin, Peptide YY, amylin, and cholecystokinin) is constantly triggered by what, when, and how much you eat. If any of them, or your cortisol, or your insulin, are out of whack, good luck saying no to the cake.

Psychological Circle: The Inner Critic on Steroids: Oh, this circle loves to stir the pot! When your hormones are out of balance, or when life throws you a curveball, your Psychological Circle kicks in, whispering things like, “You’re so weak. You’ll never stick to this.”

A lot shapes this circle: self-talk, body image, upbringing, grief, hope, sense of worth, trauma history, and even generational baggage (thanks, Grandma!)... You think you’re struggling because you’re a failure when, really, your inner critic is going rogue.

Social Circle: The Frenemies and Cheerleaders: Your Social Circle is your vibe tribe—or lack thereof. It’s your sense of connection with your family and friends, and the strength of your support system. If you’re surrounded by people who aren’t supporting your goals (“Oh, one slice won’t hurt!”), your oxytocin takes a nosedive. Oxytocin is your “connection hormone,” and when it’s low, you’re not feeling safe, seen, or heard. Cue the stress-snacking. 🍕🍷

Friends, family, coworkers—they can either cheer you on or sabotage you. If your social circle isn’t on board with your goals, it’s like trying to row a boat while everyone else is drilling holes in it. 🛶

Spiritual Circle: Your Why, Your Purpose, Your Compass: This one goes deep, and so does its impact. The Spiritual Circle includes your sense of meaning, your connection to your morals, your values, and your purpose. It’s what guides your most important decision making.

If you’re just avoiding cake to “cut calories” but don’t tie it to something bigger—like having the energy to chase your toddler, crush that marathon, be there for your family, or feeling like your best self by being metabolically healthy—your motivation will fizzle faster than flat champagne.

These circles are active 24/7. Their impact is fluid and evolving, and their interaction with one another either serves our goals or sabotages them.

The Bottom Line: It’s Not About the Cake (But Also, It Kind of Is)

No matter how much we want to, none of us start the new year with a clean slate. We all come into it with strengths and struggles from the previous year(s), and everything that came with it. If you’re starting the year with stress levels higher than your Wi-Fi bill, it’s no wonder you’re flagging. But here’s the good news: turning things around doesn’t mean flipping your entire life upside down. It starts with understanding your circles and taking small, intentional steps.

At Synergy Clinic, we specialize in helping you wrangle your four circles into harmony. Whether it’s coaching, counseling, or a mix of both, we’re here to make 2025 your year. Ready to crush it? Click here to book a discovery call. Let’s make your goals stick—because you deserve it!

Cheers to your success (and to cake-free victories, if that’s your vibe),